Small talk. Is. A. Waste. Of. Time.
If there’s anything I gathered from observing successful, and often happy, people around me, it’s that they live lives of substance. Every second counts. It doesn’t mean you have to be doing something all the time. Rest, for example, is a crucial part of self-development. But small, shallow talk? Now that’s just useless. Not talking is more beneficial to your sanity than discussing the weather or the latest gossip about someone that has absolutely no bearing on your life.
The older I get, the less tolerance I have for meaningless, shallow conversations at social gatherings. But it’s not something I merely got with age. Even when I was in my late teens, early twenties, I had a really hard time enjoying conversations where I learned absolutely nothing.
After having lived in several countries and visited places that, at first glance, couldn’t be more different from each other, from China to France to America. I’ve learned that human connection is the same no matter where you are. To get that connection, you have to scratch beneath the surface. “Hey, how you doing? Good, thanks. This wine is good. The weather is nice…” just won’t cut it.
Granted, there are some cultures where people prefer to stay with harmless, easy topics to avoid revealing too much of themselves or touching on sensitive topics. My question to you is, does that mean you have to conform? Because why even bother talking when you avoid the very subjects that reveal the stuff you’re made of inside, which is what fuels human connection.
One of my favourite sayings is this: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.” It’s been attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt, but it hasn’t been properly vetted. Regardless of who said it, it’s a great phrase that captures the essence of what conversations being human beings should be.
We won’t get to understand each other without really talking to each other. We won’t break stereotypes and expand our minds without asking questions that get to the crux of a person’s humanity. We won’t get to really know if a person is someone we should invite into our lives without knowing what’s inside.
Another point I wanted to bring up is the sad fact that even in 2017, I’ve heard female friends dumb themselves down in order to be more desirable. I’m not exactly sure if their doing so was deliberate or a subconscious manifestation of what women have been told for centuries. I sincerely do not understand the logic behind this. Unless of course you’re role-playing and you’re simply looking for fun. But those women were looking for life partners.
Ladies, stop thinking your intelligence is a handicap. It is attractive. It is beautiful. More importantly, it will attract the kind of people that value enriching their minds — the kind of people you’d want to surround yourself with.
Tough Love Corner 